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Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36862) - you deserved it (3209)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39576) - you deserved it (4808)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (4987)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49442) - you deserved it (4354)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (3917)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (3383)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

#21318557
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (6973)

On 12/16/2014 at 2:26pm - misc - by privatebathroomneeded - United States (California)

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31717) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11817) - you deserved it (67728)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to play with my Wii using the TV remote. FML

#704
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6134) - you deserved it (26001)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:57pm - misc - by Rush Snake - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19119) - you deserved it (3426)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21062) - you deserved it (5679)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)



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