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Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

#12977321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25298) - you deserved it (2106)

On 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm - misc - by gatorhead - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (5625)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (1984)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (10323)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (3950)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

#14608704
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (6806) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML

#16636156
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35368) - you deserved it (6147)

On 06/12/2011 at 11:20pm - love - by ash - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

#15203097
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (14532)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by anonymous - France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26156) - you deserved it (3485)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

#14534217
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (10089)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML

#17219052
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (2016)

On 07/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by coffee girl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (2714)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30676) - you deserved it (3947)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -



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