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Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

#14022149
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (2762)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by Username -

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

#14075452
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML

#14170475
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36083) - you deserved it (2469)

On 12/11/2010 at 8:55pm - misc - by kingkarnie - United States

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (3018)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (2673)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (1981)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML

#14338674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (5268)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38pm - misc - by badhairday (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (2540)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

#14397838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (5138)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (29111)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

#14456122
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6311) - you deserved it (31852)

On 01/03/2011 at 10:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

#15102552
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11131) - you deserved it (31501)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm - health - by Steve - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML

#14497989
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11633) - you deserved it (18321)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:22pm - misc - by RabbitOwner - United States



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