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Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML

#5203219
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (7602)

On 09/12/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Lonely (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

#3797001
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45996) - you deserved it (3514)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:00am - work - by bowhuntpa (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was invited to a birthday dinner at a restaurant. As I was leaving, I get a text from the birthday girl's boyfriend saying that it was cancelled. Hungry, I decided to go to that particular restaurant anyway. Turns out the party wasn't cancelled. Half the party just didn't want me there. FML

#5768887
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37136) - you deserved it (3753)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to crown the homecoming queen, a responsibility of mine as class president. It just happened to be that the queen is my ex-girlfriend that I still love, escorted by her new boyfriend. FML

#5786239
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35494) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48060) - you deserved it (2145)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

#6095945
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44213) - you deserved it (3974)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:30am - love - by Loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML

#6369403
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (1798)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by thenewone (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

#6377568
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (2641)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:30am - love - by ApparentlyIFail (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML

#5953662
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (6319)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by efmylife (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36508) - you deserved it (2144)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7590) - you deserved it (55410)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML

#6312971
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7022) - you deserved it (37197)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm - misc - by firefliiez (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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