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Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

#701827
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68580) - you deserved it (4588)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

#2752400
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53193) - you deserved it (4065)

On 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

#2966827
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43174) - you deserved it (5469)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

#69146
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43413) - you deserved it (5840)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35pm - love - by noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriends house, whom I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her cell, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

#111857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39926) - you deserved it (11751)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by LAME (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML

#196534
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48910) - you deserved it (17780)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by booyouwhoree (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

#243241
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (12556)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

#485057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62326) - you deserved it (14449)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML

#549700
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73484) - you deserved it (7079)

On 03/23/2009 at 8:08am - work - by McFired (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15569) - you deserved it (109572)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was waitressing when a man sat at my table with soda from somewhere else. Drinks are half the profit for restaurants. There is a strict policy that you have to charge for carry-in drinks. I told him this, he yelled at me so I told him I was doing my job. I got fired, for doing my job. FML

#919525
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56529) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:07pm - work - by waitress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

#1617727
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51511) - you deserved it (5112)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by kraussy (man) - United States (New York)



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