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Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81810) - you deserved it (3319)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11475) - you deserved it (36158)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by thebickster (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly : while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you deserved it (42514)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by nessacadesa (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38591) - you deserved it (19309)
On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (8610)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40417) - you deserved it (2248)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (2282)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while driving across country, my car broke down while in the middle of nowhere. I had it towed to a mechanic in the nearest town. While he fixed the car, I went to get lunch. The only restaurant in town was an old-fashioned drive-up diner. They wouldn't serve me because I wasn't in a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37660) - you deserved it (1586)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:25pm - misc - by stillhungry (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (2452)
On 05/23/2009 at 4:20pm - work - by jend (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34292) - you deserved it (6592)
Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39074) - you deserved it (8934)
On 04/28/2009 at 12:35am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5855) - you deserved it (34347)
On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29558) - you deserved it (6110)
On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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