Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (3160)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

#13868959
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (23015)

On 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by genderbender (woman) - Reserved

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

#11430477
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30155) - you deserved it (4146)

On 06/24/2010 at 4:02pm - work - by kbartlett86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (4025)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

#13259037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (2268)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

#13612970
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (5108)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:36am - love - by me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17871) - you deserved it (2836)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally quit my job after talking with a friend about making our own design/multimedia company. While I was on my way to his house, he called me and told me not to quit because he got an awesome job offer and couldn't refuse. FML

#13157564
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (6985)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

#13388494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (6745)

On 10/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by ewwy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (2390)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

#13439777
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML

#14627617
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7563) - you deserved it (45702)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:53pm - misc - by slondons (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: