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Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

#21451161
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2304)

On 08/03/2015 at 1:31am - health - by sendhelp - United States (Utah)

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML

#21491660
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13288) - you deserved it (27246)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

#21454460
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (2219)

On 08/10/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by Mrs. W. (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML

#21473282
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (2748)

On 09/27/2015 at 12:05pm - intimacy - by itsbeenalongday - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out why my new co-worker has been shooting me dirty looks, being rude to me, and generally trying to avoid me. It's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, and she thinks people like me are Nazis. FML

#21481034
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (1606)

On 10/17/2015 at 8:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad decided that campground bathrooms are disgusting and that on our upcoming camping trip, we'll have to keep a bucket of cat litter in our tent in case we want to go to the bathroom. FML

#21468769
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21796) - you deserved it (1460)

On 09/15/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by ew - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML

#21465257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23501) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm - love - by tessie94 (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

#21501998
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20859) - you deserved it (1502)

On 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm - love - by PerturbedStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my crush of a few years likes me. How? Her boyfriend told me, followed by a punch in the face. FML

#21513961
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (1656)

On 01/11/2016 at 12:21pm - love - by anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

#202
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58918) - you deserved it (8702)

On 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm - love - by clubber - Switzerland (Fribourg)

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

#665
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6597) - you deserved it (35641)

On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (18536)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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