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Today, I found out the real cause of my dog's illness that she had just recovered from. When my sister took her in to see the vet, the vet said my dog was constipated, and swallowed something orange. That orange thing happened to be my favorite thong. FML

#3818838
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34750) - you deserved it (5591)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:02am - animals - by orangethonglover (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36403) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

#4028166
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16950) - you deserved it (42423)

On 07/25/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by PeterRabit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

#3868753
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (3477)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:12pm - animals - by omgjessp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that bees like to make hives in odd places, like in your vintage car's trunk. I also found out that they don't like it when you break their hive in half when you open the trunk to get out a spare tire. FML

#4260917
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48064) - you deserved it (4002)

On 08/03/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Stung (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

#4363957
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32522) - you deserved it (22807)

On 08/07/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by terpity12 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (7021)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

#5642401
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51537) - you deserved it (4482)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by CapeRanger (man) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

#4655713
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7770) - you deserved it (38402)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML

#6116013
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42421) - you deserved it (2702)

On 11/02/2009 at 6:05am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48847) - you deserved it (3712)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34237) - you deserved it (3489)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13432) - you deserved it (54371)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)



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