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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

#17506977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (3770)

On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (2557)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

#18106914
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6225) - you deserved it (38265)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)

Today, I got stuck driving behind a rather large motorcyclist on a one way road for 30 miles. For those 30 miles, I had a full view of his back fat rolls and butt crack. FML

#18466137
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (3272)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by O__o (woman) - United States

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (2107)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

#19105006
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (2066)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML

#19642956
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15747) - you deserved it (3983)

On 05/18/2012 at 5:50pm - misc - by ooh cat - United States (California)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (4644)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (3668)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9069) - you deserved it (41245)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

#19931500
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (1619)

On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7111) - you deserved it (17225)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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