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Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48808) - you deserved it (5985)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60835) - you deserved it (5973)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45594) - you deserved it (4071)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (3845)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44982) - you deserved it (11030)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45593) - you deserved it (3979)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47608) - you deserved it (5191)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43655) - you deserved it (3442)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

#20916326
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33602) - you deserved it (9672)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by FriutlessApple (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46805) - you deserved it (4686)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (38648)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37260) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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