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Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (3446)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (45488)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28624) - you deserved it (5647) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8708) - you deserved it (25294)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, I asked to change my major at the college I'm transferring to in the fall. Instead of letting me change my major, they withdrew my acceptance. FML

#16486485
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (3723)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:34pm - misc - by transfer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (13124)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (2130)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (4305)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

#19708728
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17839) - you deserved it (1945)

On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, depressed about a recent break-up with my long-term boyfriend, I bought a book about moving on after a relationship ends. The cashier placed some standard promotional fliers in my bag during check-out. Once home, I pulled out the fliers. They were for a married couples retreat. FML

#19404981
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (2402)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:43am - love - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

#19120522
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (27221)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by OhMyWhitney - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

#19250645
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (3159)

On 03/10/2012 at 10:16am - love - by callen5 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19352) - you deserved it (1850)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States



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