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Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML

#21419508
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30001) - you deserved it (2090)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

#21444850
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (2871)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:15am - love - by UnfortunatelySingle (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27881) - you deserved it (4037)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (11061)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

#21434871
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12525) - you deserved it (30635)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (2383)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (9202)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

#245
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (12731)

On 11/07/2008 at 10:33am - work - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

#296
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9674) - you deserved it (52870)

On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I regret that break we took. I thought it would lead him to realize that he wanted to stop cheating and flirting with other girls and be with only me forever. Now I'm the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. FML

#969
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you deserved it (35523)

On 01/11/2009 at 1:08pm - love - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7017) - you deserved it (61722)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9772) - you deserved it (33218)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)



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