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Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

by pancaketits / 03/22/2016 at 11:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML

by piss off / 04/08/2016 at 6:05pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 10:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

by forever_young / 05/13/2016 at 9:03am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my AP government teacher moved our seats and of course, I was seated next to my ex who has harassed me ever since our breakup. When I asked the teacher after class if I could please have a seat change, she told me I would have to write a 3-page essay on why I made the request. FML

by maxthomkell / 05/24/2016 at 11:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML

by Mexican / 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

by Medfail / 06/20/2016 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Health

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

by clubber / 11/03/2008 at 11:16pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

by noname / 12/04/2008 at 12:55am / Intimacy

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

by liltravol23 / 01/15/2009 at 6:36am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

by Wenny / 01/18/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

by Wititipwitpwit / 01/21/2009 at 5:03am / Work

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

by Yoshi / 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy