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Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63115) - you deserved it (7855)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (9921)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40596) - you deserved it (3633)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (6906)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56750) - you deserved it (4756)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48287) - you deserved it (9805)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML

#250942
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75270) - you deserved it (5353)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by NowABlonde (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22819) - you deserved it (63961)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64460) - you deserved it (4670)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

#480695
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16825) - you deserved it (95722)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

#529692
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52957) - you deserved it (21803)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

#705801
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53670) - you deserved it (16714)

On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98904) - you deserved it (15047)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)



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