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Today, I got a very serious case of the shits while in the middle of trying to close a sale, and had to run to the bathroom. My coworker picked up the sale, stealing all the commission in the process. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

#21149888
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51754) - you deserved it (4932)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:14am - love - by SE011194 - United States (Georgia)

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

#21150544
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49954) - you deserved it (4028)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42876) - you deserved it (8654)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45002) - you deserved it (5939)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

#21186463
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47756) - you deserved it (4400)

On 06/24/2014 at 11:04am - misc - by lrn2road - United States (California)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43193) - you deserved it (5125)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46145) - you deserved it (8789)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

#21255144
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (7490)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36088) - you deserved it (9889)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55754) - you deserved it (5557)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43184) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40252) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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