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Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML

#21167164
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46858) - you deserved it (3925)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:01pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34137) - you deserved it (4517)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (4038)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39407) - you deserved it (3554)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (8847)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

#21221072
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44362) - you deserved it (4018)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41766) - you deserved it (3701)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11013) - you deserved it (65014)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version



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