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Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15400) - you deserved it (24973)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, in an attempt to get some guidance from my college advisor, I emailed her, saying I was contemplating going to another school because I felt so helpless about my GPA, and was sure I wouldn't get my major. I asked for advice on raising it. She gave me instructions on how to drop out. FML

#15077863
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (6639)

On 02/22/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by academicloser (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

#15029210
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (5088)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Socarates - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

#16842915
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (4533)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:30am - love - by yourmomsabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

#15392529
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (9514)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by embarassed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you deserved it (25089)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML

#15589455
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34778) - you deserved it (3362)

On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

#19112192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

#16972351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (13814)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by hero to zero - United States (New York)

Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML

#16106776
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (11794)

On 05/09/2011 at 5:12pm - money - by loser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

#19545380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2681)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11755) - you deserved it (24541)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

#17271800
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (11837)

On 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by anon - Israel



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