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Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (5026)
On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15007) - you deserved it (2476)
On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (5505)
On 10/31/2009 at 1:32pm - kids - by apparentnerd (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (2071)
On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6260) - you deserved it (18301)
On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20366) - you deserved it (1176)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16875) - you deserved it (8076)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11747) - you deserved it (17086)
On 11/17/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by HunniBeeHuni (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22900) - you deserved it (1385)
On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (7374)
On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (3639)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (1827)
On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19993) - you deserved it (2305)
On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Monday 17 June 2013
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