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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (4914)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

#20545866
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40345) - you deserved it (3823)

On 03/16/2013 at 8:17am - misc - by nomorecleaning (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35511) - you deserved it (3903)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (2501)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (2957)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheel chair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (32506)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML

#20579065
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36249) - you deserved it (2748)

On 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42266) - you deserved it (5134)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40694) - you deserved it (10821)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39023) - you deserved it (13580)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

#20716841
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58137) - you deserved it (4444)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Crazy Mom (woman) - United States

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (3973)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States



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