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Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (11458)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (2923)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML

#10132808
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9146) - you deserved it (40231)

On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after spending the three previous nights cursing the noisiest bird alive that continually disrupts my sleep to the point where I just want to smash the damn thing's head in with a rock, I realised it's been my pedestal fan the entire time. FML

#13431909
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5645) - you deserved it (27362)

On 10/13/2010 at 7:58am - animals - by SoundConfuser - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (4710)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

#7968028
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (8447)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15769) - you deserved it (2208)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22415) - you deserved it (6596)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

#8420953
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7417) - you deserved it (20797)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

#9040800
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5985) - you deserved it (19180)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by loki (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (3343)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my science test back. I thought I did a horrible job on it, but only three were circled. I was happy but doubtful that I did so well, so I asked my teacher just to make sure. He said it was faster to circle the correct answers. FML

#13835168
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11793) - you deserved it (26657)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by lovemyteacher (woman) - United States (California)



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