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Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (3374)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. His response was, "Thank god, finally." FML

#17757165
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26088) - you deserved it (8163)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:10am - love - by Cora - United States

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

#17513868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (3168)

On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (4249)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I opened my new clothing store. My only customer was my mom and the only reason she came in was to tell me that someone stole my sign. FML

#16307240
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (3114)

On 05/23/2011 at 12:26am - work - by 11lyss1 -

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (3275)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML

#17687810
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (1896)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (6196)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

#18272424
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23395) - you deserved it (1896)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tnh - United States

Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7893) - you deserved it (19748)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

#19149317
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (37135)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by thisguy - Canada

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7769) - you deserved it (25711)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States



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