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Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51579) - you deserved it (4072)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

#4384243
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49322) - you deserved it (5444)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8870) - you deserved it (53483)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

#5409336
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35277) - you deserved it (6849)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:20am - money - by robbedonCTA (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard mom talking about how my youngest sister was the only one who used the money from the insurance settlement from my dad's death responsibly. I was in my first semester of college when she cashed in mine for a vacation. I had to drop out. FML

Today, it was my court date for a car accident I was involved in back in July. I had spent months preparing a case to prove my innocence. I was scheduled to appear at 10:00 this morning. I woke up at 10:15AM. FML

#5249828
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11645) - you deserved it (64074)

On 09/14/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by CWoah (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML

#4212486
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37873) - you deserved it (9256)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:13pm - misc - by Rachel247 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

#3777145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11080) - you deserved it (48874)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

#5480779
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7076) - you deserved it (56468)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by veggocake (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML

#5635869
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (5196)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13am - love - by helplesslover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a long, meaningful telephone conversation. After hanging up, I realized I hadn't had such a great conversation in a long time. Who was it with? The Dell Customer Support guy. FML

#5081613
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (5041)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:27pm - misc - by asdfjkl (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

#5329801
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (1962)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by cl512 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML

#5585947
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36291) - you deserved it (5059)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by Broly171 (man) - United States (Iowa) - moderated by Kevin Nealon



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

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