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Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57290) - you deserved it (4647)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

#517502
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56771) - you deserved it (3521)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise 'moving in' party. FML

#495382
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56005) - you deserved it (3764)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by TrailerTrash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said "you look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

#828756
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46189) - you deserved it (7609)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by Lastsecondstand - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50232) - you deserved it (3104)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

#1280254
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8165) - you deserved it (56496)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

#1378715
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (4413)

On 04/27/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting this little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park so we did. When we were walking back, I was caring her on my back. When were almost at the door, she told me she had to go pee. I told her to hold it. As we were walking in the door I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

#1589486
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39535) - you deserved it (14938)

On 05/03/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by Dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (33661)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47920) - you deserved it (3745)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

#5773283
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (2600)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

#4737465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11195) - you deserved it (32490)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Idiot (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

#5544276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (5485)

On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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