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Today, while wearing my Navy Dress White Uniform, I decided to stop and help this attractive girl who was not feeling well. Without warning, she blew chunks all over my "Whites". I have a uniform inspection later this afternoon. FML

#5526050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (4706)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by mnavy (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16791) - you deserved it (39535)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was at my only sister's wedding. She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her. She said, "She is my favorite sister who has always been there for me." Being her only sister, I got up to hug her. Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister. Not me. FML

#4952830
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54195) - you deserved it (3734)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by ohsugarxo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, an injured guest stopped at the front desk of the hotel and raved about my kindness and 'commitment to customer service'. He told my boss about how I'd gone to the ice machine and personally delivered a bag of ice for his injured knee. Guess who got written up for leaving the front desk? FML

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

#4441693
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (39295)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:01am - love - by thanksjerk (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

#5527691
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34123) - you deserved it (6227)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by chachi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

#5651382
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (55653)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML

#5021143
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10818) - you deserved it (48264)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43150) - you deserved it (3280)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

#3851520
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (3785)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:15am - love - by Phoebe (woman) - Singapore

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40806) - you deserved it (3317)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

#5865096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9534) - you deserved it (43802)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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