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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32883) - you deserved it (2913)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (3395)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

#7252509
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9778) - you deserved it (25294)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7575) - you deserved it (40324)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

#7651599
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (2238)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (8822)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

#14114912
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (3707)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:28am - work - by anonymous-canada -

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

#10752650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (32592)

On 05/25/2010 at 8:32am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

#8938160
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (3719)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:04am - love - by fu2then (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

#10615901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (6613)

On 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by MisterT (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5649) - you deserved it (23701)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

#12524793
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (3360)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm - work - by hobosarea-holes (man) - United States (New York)



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