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Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

#20702129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44620) - you deserved it (6183) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

#20697496
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50773) - you deserved it (3957)

On 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

#20740481
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45380) - you deserved it (4466)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:22am - love - by sadpoorlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

#20729197
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42591) - you deserved it (3459)

On 06/16/2013 at 11:46am - misc - by loveyadad (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40313) - you deserved it (3541)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40725) - you deserved it (2867)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21738) - you deserved it (37954)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (59070)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (4698)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (4025)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60802) - you deserved it (5969)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41872) - you deserved it (18242)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (3776)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)



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