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Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46766) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

#20917563
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/12/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

#20897714
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (16174)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:33am - love - by drinkdrankdrunk (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40114) - you deserved it (6600)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57539) - you deserved it (6012)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43026) - you deserved it (8722)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML

#21001557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35127) - you deserved it (3373)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by blackcarnation - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

#21025291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49203) - you deserved it (4446)

On 01/12/2014 at 3:03am - kids - by -_- - United States

Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML

#21018283
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (6266)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by frozen solid - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

#21034680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (3741)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

#21035049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37795) - you deserved it (5456)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm - work - by ugh (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

#21038371
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (3478)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Profucktardor (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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