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Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (33123)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33739) - you deserved it (5030)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38580) - you deserved it (17953)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

#129411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53611) - you deserved it (5999)

On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
48 comments

Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

#161850
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52205) - you deserved it (3469)

On 02/28/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by AnnaMarie. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

#4525177
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41737) - you deserved it (7450)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by ragsy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

#464379
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82852) - you deserved it (4262)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was driving me to her house against my will when I said, "Sometimes it's annoying that you always decide where we go because you drive." She replied, "Yeah, I wish I could be more of the girl in this relationship." FML

#482680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12589) - you deserved it (76849)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by lukey_G (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

#459140
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16432) - you deserved it (92732)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

#14377623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (2359)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Shepaintsmusic -

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (48281)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML

#1962325
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50095) - you deserved it (3872)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)



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