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Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38334) - you deserved it (8388)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41215) - you deserved it (4358)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17300) - you deserved it (58471)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML

#20650839
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43006) - you deserved it (12942)

On 05/08/2013 at 9:22pm - misc - by 19kwhatever (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48094) - you deserved it (3374)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML

#20692458
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47155) - you deserved it (7477)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46197) - you deserved it (5478)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45541) - you deserved it (7043)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

#20740481
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47793) - you deserved it (4690)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:22am - love - by sadpoorlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

#20715456
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45688) - you deserved it (13615)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52663) - you deserved it (3399)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43595) - you deserved it (4578)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (46860)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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