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Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41163) - you deserved it (7019)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

#5642401
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50186) - you deserved it (4357)

On 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by CapeRanger (man) - South Africa (Limpopo)

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

#4655713
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7762) - you deserved it (38385)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

#4677872
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44514) - you deserved it (2852)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML

#6116013
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42388) - you deserved it (2701)

On 11/02/2009 at 6:05am - love - by ZPyRoGoDz (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48833) - you deserved it (3712)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

#5958040
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34213) - you deserved it (3487)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13417) - you deserved it (54346)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

#5387422
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33538) - you deserved it (3185)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by issy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48724) - you deserved it (2186)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (3243)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML

#6184737
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32335) - you deserved it (2362)

On 11/06/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by imsad (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

#6024330
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (7470)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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