Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34064) - you deserved it (4381)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33736) - you deserved it (4981)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (4354)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (3782)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38640) - you deserved it (3907)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting it in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

#21284691
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (4173)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML

#21338940
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you deserved it (8482)

On 01/17/2015 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, to my delight I discover that there is security camera in the storage room at my work. The same room where, two days ago I masturbated. FML

#265
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (65276)

On 11/10/2008 at 4:11am - work - by tadam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

#296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (52656)

On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (5677)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: