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Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML

#884273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63018) - you deserved it (4134)

On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting in the lobby of a modeling agency for my interview to be a potential model and I was next in line. They called "NEXT!" and I walked in with a smile on my face. They stared at my face for a moment and then started yelling "NEXT". FML

#922187
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53922) - you deserved it (10198)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by taptheturtle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46802) - you deserved it (19659)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

#4900941
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48818) - you deserved it (3708)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:48am - kids - by littlemisstiny (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

#5497802
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (4155)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by bubblegummm13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided that we should go to the carnival in the Bizarre House place where there were a lot of crazy mirrors. I checked myself out in one of the mirrors. Then my boyfriend says "That will probably be the only time you will ever look that skinny." FML

#4096653
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44258) - you deserved it (6011)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:47am - health - by crazymirrors (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

#4384243
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51220) - you deserved it (5609)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (4998)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

#5163835
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14666) - you deserved it (37472)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML

#5658731
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (2153)

On 10/05/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by corfan01 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my landlord asked to borrow my truck to move some furniture. When she returned it, I noticed she had filled the gas tank up. I thanked her for doing so, and she handed me the receipt and said "just add it to next month's rent". FML

#4974639
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (3276)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:07am - money - by overdriven07 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

#5925433
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40332) - you deserved it (6386)

On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

#5488289
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (7543)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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