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Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29507) - you deserved it (6190)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

#17030177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (3477)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

#17355075
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (8563)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

#14974571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43753) - you deserved it (3818)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by surfergal91 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50299) - you deserved it (5868)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML

#16284011
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12592) - you deserved it (29514)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by woodchuck0022 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

#16842915
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:30am - love - by yourmomsabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (12492)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11812) - you deserved it (38023)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States



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