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Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (5829)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

#19793138
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21889) - you deserved it (2169)

On 06/15/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by shalara (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML

#19937042
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25367) - you deserved it (1953)

On 07/14/2012 at 12:46pm - money - by Natalie - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22076) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (3106)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that being arrested isn't something a decent person should have on their bucket list. I had to explain this while bailing her out of jail. FML

#20002792
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17747) - you deserved it (2067)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

#20045097
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20789) - you deserved it (8208)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm - misc - by arh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19870) - you deserved it (1386)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7673) - you deserved it (31315)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

#20089585
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18676) - you deserved it (1475)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4647) - you deserved it (35848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML

#20122652
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (1985)

On 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm - work - by johnnyfuckfacer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (3536)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States



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