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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

#18262782
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27752) - you deserved it (4300)

On 11/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by jdancerchick - United States

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7657) - you deserved it (26435)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22516) - you deserved it (1729)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24468) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (2121)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML

#19401139
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (4556)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML

#19552616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7850) - you deserved it (25348)

On 04/30/2012 at 9:28am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States

Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML

#19650597
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (1912)

On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (2048)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

#19764261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15035) - you deserved it (9079)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by yeyt209 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24250) - you deserved it (9540)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

#19771597
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML

#20076048
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (1920)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:15am - love - by jlee0000785 (woman) - Australia



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