Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

#13534312
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9992) - you deserved it (36579)

On 10/21/2010 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

#15031615
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (17052)

On 02/18/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by blaahh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

#14813495
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by alephnull (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (6183)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

#17030177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (3477)

On 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

#17355075
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27205) - you deserved it (8563)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

#14974571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43753) - you deserved it (3818)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by surfergal91 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

#15195848
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (3413)

On 03/04/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by carr (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50297) - you deserved it (5868)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML

#16284011
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12552) - you deserved it (29456)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by woodchuck0022 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML

#16842915
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (4879)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:30am - love - by yourmomsabitch (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: