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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (37978)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40493) - you deserved it (2805)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (45274)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (43566)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46197) - you deserved it (5024)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45274) - you deserved it (3787)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59201) - you deserved it (3667)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (13715)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44877) - you deserved it (4197)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46734) - you deserved it (3911)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

#20818297
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43696) - you deserved it (14516)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:40am - love - by Msmerfner - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50149) - you deserved it (3343)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48009) - you deserved it (3794) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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