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Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (6876)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (3036)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32869) - you deserved it (4507)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (3867)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

#21284180
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (16167)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Yeah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (8429) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

#21263853
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (2478)

On 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm - health - by catgiraffegirl (woman) - United States

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (7074)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30008) - you deserved it (5208)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (4190)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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