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Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

#791194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53734) - you deserved it (5458)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

#1072377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74366) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30352) - you deserved it (6009)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (2075)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML

#5383572
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7780) - you deserved it (56527)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

#5678496
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (8847)

On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

#5409336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (6838)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:20am - money - by robbedonCTA (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17283) - you deserved it (38725)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (3056)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35181) - you deserved it (6023)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his new 19 year old girlfriend he met a month ago. FML

#3907270
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38374) - you deserved it (5660)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07pm - love - by Grevling (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

#5186777
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (4356)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (3214)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore



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