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Today, while working at a fast food restaurant, I stayed a little overtime to help my manager with dishes. A kid pooped in the slide in the playground area attached to the restaurant itself. I'm the smallest one there. I had to crawl UP the slide to find and clean the poop. FML

#3228837
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (3225)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:43am - work - by donezo (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML

#1695418
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49324) - you deserved it (4435)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by twoheadedboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

#1250127
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (15398)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (20802)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriends house, whom I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her cell, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

#111857
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (10420)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by LAME (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the gym, when i noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the tread mill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until i got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

#209594
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (42424)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by girlie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

#243465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (17696)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

#272262
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (89547)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52058) - you deserved it (9509)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

#888437
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (64588)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML

#1818447
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55431) - you deserved it (3812)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

#1877583
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56320) - you deserved it (2668)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

#2071358
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45573) - you deserved it (2768)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:17am - health - by OUCH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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