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Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (77254)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

#641288
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55558) - you deserved it (11733)

On 03/27/2009 at 10:47am - work - by mjohnston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

#705801
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53743) - you deserved it (16728)

On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML

#3196366
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (5663)

On 06/25/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML

#3574946
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (9498)

On 07/08/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by feltuponthe69 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends took me out to the most expensive restaurant in town to celebrate my promotion, we ordered everything with expensive drinks too. They 'took a smoke break' and left me with the bill. FML

#5184573
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37265) - you deserved it (4346)

On 09/11/2009 at 7:57am - work - by howrude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I am renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

#2303239
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55850) - you deserved it (3462)

On 05/26/2009 at 5:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

#137765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46652) - you deserved it (5439)

On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML

#133390
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45027) - you deserved it (5522)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm - work - by hairy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (62238)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

#184275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46114) - you deserved it (6074)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:58pm - work - by kimosabe (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87096) - you deserved it (7465)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML

#820741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82892) - you deserved it (6877)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by IfuSeekAmyIdo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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