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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

#6856764
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (4462)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

#7499044
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32570) - you deserved it (2587)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

#7364285
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (6424)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bali_Boil (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend lied about crashing his car just to avoid seeing me. FML

Today, I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML

#7420544
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12166) - you deserved it (41041)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:12pm - love - by Crissylove10 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

#7252509
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10959) - you deserved it (27297)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

#7492284
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (23023)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Toldyouso (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

#7635822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29780) - you deserved it (2914)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9955) - you deserved it (36601)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

#8031380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (2117)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm - misc - by sweeeeet (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (3152)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

#8129133
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28115) - you deserved it (4556)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm - kids - by kbeavv - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (6078)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)



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