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Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

by Shamdog48 / 04/11/2011 at 11:08am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

by photo grunt / 07/07/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I called my phone company to get some answers about my phone bill. I was okay with being put on hold. In fact, I was on hold for so long, that the music stopped playing. When someone finally answered they told me to call back tomorrow. All my phones disconnected an hour later. FML

by Broguy / 07/05/2011 at 10:20pm / Canada / Money

Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML

by leahneedssleep / 07/11/2011 at 6:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

by jordy1995 / 07/16/2011 at 12:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML

by Username / 08/01/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Animals

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

by jakethed0g / 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Holidays

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

by hopeless-.- / 08/29/2011 at 11:06am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

by Brian B / 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

by Just me / 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

by hatty / 09/23/2011 at 9:48am / United Kingdom (East Lothian) / Transportation

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

by SakuraBreeze / 09/26/2011 at 1:18am / United States (Indiana) / Work