Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

#19561012
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5908) - you deserved it (27657)

On 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm - misc - by BoomHeadshot (woman) - Australia

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (2869)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

#19810055
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19668) - you deserved it (1829)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:31pm - misc - by ducklover1 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

#20047310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7618) - you deserved it (27313)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:59am - health - by Holly - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9414) - you deserved it (28191)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

#19939490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10021) - you deserved it (24162)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by RIP - United States

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20285) - you deserved it (1729)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (2695)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20631) - you deserved it (5678)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (8281)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

#20134435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17684) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/26/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by Miss Spasticator (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20136) - you deserved it (4398)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31894) - you deserved it (1957)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: