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Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41643) - you deserved it (3534)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

#21237282
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34958) - you deserved it (2771)

On 08/14/2014 at 6:31am - work - by givemestrength - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (3971)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34188) - you deserved it (7710)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (4812)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (4799)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (3717)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

#21229931
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41204) - you deserved it (4338)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48800) - you deserved it (4346)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38236) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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