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Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (2164)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28695) - you deserved it (2997)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

#21387302
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (2362)

On 04/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (4029)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (1917)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (2434)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the reason why my car has smelled so bad for the past two weeks. It turns out when my sister was bringing in groceries from my car she forgot to grab the raw chicken. FML

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (2860)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

#245
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (12723)

On 11/07/2008 at 10:33am - work - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

#296
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9667) - you deserved it (52819)

On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I regret that break we took. I thought it would lead him to realize that he wanted to stop cheating and flirting with other girls and be with only me forever. Now I'm the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. FML

#969
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (35487)

On 01/11/2009 at 1:08pm - love - by Celina - United States (California)



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