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Today, I was accused of shoplifting because my jacket looked "too chunky". I wasn't stealing, I'm just fat. FML

#20985487
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43599) - you deserved it (5932)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:16pm - health - by goingtothegym (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37100) - you deserved it (8523)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (4635)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41527) - you deserved it (5132)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47270) - you deserved it (3590)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (14420)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

#21057082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40804) - you deserved it (6590) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

#21080766
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (25649)

On 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by unknown - United States (Texas)

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

#21072669
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/26/2014 at 10:28pm - work - by Lori_ftw - United States (California)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34082) - you deserved it (7091)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you deserved it (3744)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

#21124188
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38360) - you deserved it (5484)

On 04/27/2014 at 9:43am - love - by Amy (grossed out) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41747) - you deserved it (4984)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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