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Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

#15528059
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25868) - you deserved it (3634)

On 03/28/2011 at 7:52am - misc - by screwedhousemate (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

#18057412
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by TitMunch - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I received my new car-seat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML

#19032748
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8179) - you deserved it (14291)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:29am - money - by thatgirl34 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (5945)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

#17467525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11259) - you deserved it (21510)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

#17577753
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (1971)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

#17023007
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28663) - you deserved it (2527)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:10am - work - by outofajob - United States

Today, my fiancé's mother tried to arrange a marriage for him to a nice Indian girl, again. We've been engaged for a year, and the wedding is in a month. FML

#19460687
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (1778)

On 04/13/2012 at 10:12am - love - by Beth (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (2153)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14853) - you deserved it (3390)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

#19316785
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18891) - you deserved it (3141)

On 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm - money - by Alyssa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15886) - you deserved it (2809)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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