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Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML

#3560349
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42413) - you deserved it (2902)

On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35336) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

#1814886
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64576) - you deserved it (3604)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119701) - you deserved it (12893)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (77329)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87386) - you deserved it (7241)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16323) - you deserved it (75502)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18077) - you deserved it (102457)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

#1186879
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57551) - you deserved it (10017)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, is my mothers birthday. I decided to take her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mothers birthday I gave her: 3 broken ribs. FML

#1688990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50562) - you deserved it (18364)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47am - health - by FortuneFaded (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

#1717469
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53808) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32898) - you deserved it (2303)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML

#5100044
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9835) - you deserved it (52902)

On 09/07/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by misstree (woman) - Singapore



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