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Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

#21193691
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26226) - you deserved it (38761)

On 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32913) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (2164)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

#21317143
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35631) - you deserved it (4343)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (4458)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

#21387302
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (2362)

On 04/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39372) - you deserved it (10939)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was entertaining himself by shoving tampons up his nose and seeing how far across the bed he could blow them. This man is the father of my son. FML

#21248639
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37558) - you deserved it (9503)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend's dad called to say she wasn't allowed to come with me on a three-day trip on New Year's. He waited until Christmas to say it, even though we booked and paid for the trip nearly a month ago. Now he ruined both holidays. FML

#21323987
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (2909)

On 12/25/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by sneeuwbal - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32612) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39481) - you deserved it (8432) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version



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