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Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (1626)
On 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm - animals - by shaviTuT (woman) - Malaysia (Johor)
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (2517)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (3745)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22342) - you deserved it (1536)
On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (4073)
On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -
Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (12535)
On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (4448)
On 06/02/2013 at 4:29am - kids - by samabomination - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (1682)
On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5355) - you deserved it (14810)
On 01/07/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by failphone - United States (California)
Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15062) - you deserved it (2403)
On 01/10/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by doh - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14814) - you deserved it (1452)
On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (11107)
On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8377) - you deserved it (1149)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)
Monday 17 June 2013
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