Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

#20673056
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42149) - you deserved it (8245)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

#20676088
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (2778)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:07pm - work - by Check Writer - United States (California)

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (10348)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

#20696605
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57045) - you deserved it (3292)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

#20773891
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43761) - you deserved it (13516)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:58am - animals - by kutekittykatz (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

#20772988
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43296) - you deserved it (5138)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by tonedef (man) - United States

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46680) - you deserved it (5202)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41578) - you deserved it (4986)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (46817)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

#20808417
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48560) - you deserved it (3534)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by the un-loved child - United States (California)

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42442) - you deserved it (7610)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45423) - you deserved it (3048)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: