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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

#14306647
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (4424)

On 12/23/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (4660)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

#14021574
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (5813)

On 11/29/2010 at 7:13am - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I played a volleyball game at my school. Not only did I miss the winning point, the ball hit my face in the process, which resulted in popping a big fat zit on my nose. FML

#13797230
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (4695)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by iharethissomuxh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (8255)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22454) - you deserved it (3170)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (6013)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

#14793014
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (3608)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by LynzG -

Today, my mother came over again to help me work on my Student Aid application. She also brought over the savings bonds that she has been accumulating since I was born to help pay for college. Turns out they won't reach maturity until I'm thirty. She never bothered to check out this fact. I'm screwed for college. FML

#14476476
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (2926)

On 01/05/2011 at 5:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML

#14532668
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (8028)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

#19237669
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14172) - you deserved it (16844)

On 03/08/2012 at 3:06am - work - by stuckonrepeat (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was working on my art portfolio. I had drawn a self-portrait. When I was satisfied, I wanted to show my parents. They thought it was a drawing of a bear. FML

#14899477
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25189) - you deserved it (4718)

On 02/08/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by nomoreart (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (24953)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)



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