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Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (12232)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (4152)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (31313)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML

#18142584
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (2559)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm - love - by lebowski101 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21325) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

#17801056
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (3006)

On 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

#15861693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (3913)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (18940)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, after weeks of watching car after car of solo drivers go by in the carpool lane every day, I decided to join them. I'm the one who got pulled over. FML

#17756140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8870) - you deserved it (29694)

On 09/16/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (1926)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (2901)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

#18959581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (3344)

On 01/31/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by Lentil (woman) - Australia



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