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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (2277)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you deserved it (40529)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

#20062839
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (1721)

On 09/08/2012 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

#19832041
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (1608)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Coffee Boy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

#20082065
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18953) - you deserved it (1636)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by hopelesscollegestudent - Canada

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (3643)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

#20093240
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23911) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/29/2012 at 3:39am - misc - by bluefrisky - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (2029)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (1954)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (1495)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (1824)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (3261)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10087) - you deserved it (26850)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)



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