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Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

#21350278
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30937) - you deserved it (3589)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:42am - love - by thenewgirl29 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (5200)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

#21361960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (2037)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:42pm - work - by Confused and Disgusted - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

#21367306
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11) - you deserved it (1990)

On 03/03/2015 at 2:06pm - work - by miewann - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was expecting a card from my husband stationed in Japan, but he mailed it to my mom. Since I'm busy and don't see her much, she tried to help by mailing it to me. It's long overdue, and the post office never got it. The card came from Japan, only to get lost traveling from 30 minutes away. FML

Today, after being with the company for over 3 years, I realised nobody really knows my name. This was after my boss was walking around a new staff member and couldn't introduce me. Neither could my colleague, who's been sitting next to me for the last 6 months. FML

#21358494
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31634) - you deserved it (3421)

On 02/18/2015 at 7:35am - work - by lonergirl - Australia

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (2178)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27588) - you deserved it (3547)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (1854)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12783) - you deserved it (32799)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (2454)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42419) - you deserved it (2415)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)



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