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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (1750)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

#21349905
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - misc - by jamienicole1993 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you deserved it (15922)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (2539)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (6570)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14756) - you deserved it (37614)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

#21412921
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26619) - you deserved it (13180)

On 05/20/2015 at 8:03am - work - by boss_daughter - United States

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

#21392089
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (2507)

On 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm - kids - by ShampooThief - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (4017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (27011)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (3130)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30981) - you deserved it (2447)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)



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