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Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML

#17931151
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (1948)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

#17404352
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (2386)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:10am - misc - by noooo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

#17761729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (4231)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (3134)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2903)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (2274)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

#19015871
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (1727)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by whyme (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML

#19586621
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (5268)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (38702)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

#19095888
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (2307)

On 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Tay - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19996) - you deserved it (2284)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (1831)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

#19635956
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (8141)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:33am - misc - by kazmatazz (woman) - Oman



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