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Today, I got fired from my new waitress job after 2 shifts. They said I wasn't experienced enough to handle the fast pace. I thought I'd been doing well so I asked my friend who works there what really happened. Apparently not showing my boobs enough at a family place was grounds for dismissal. FML

#21367306
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (1989)

On 03/03/2015 at 2:06pm - work - by miewann - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12776) - you deserved it (32791)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (2451)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42412) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (3430)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (8066)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43997) - you deserved it (5819)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (4189)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (5026)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46222) - you deserved it (13948)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (17616)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML

#267564
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63343) - you deserved it (8270)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:04am - misc - by fmlmylife - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21771) - you deserved it (57965)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)



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