Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (4688)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

#7885768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (4860)

On 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by MafiaWarsWidow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

#13987283
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (5476)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

#14138227
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (4656)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:33am - love - by owew -

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5260) - you deserved it (22597)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

#13813299
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (5741)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:06am - love - by Samipearl - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a parking ticket while standing beside my car. FML

#12183114
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (8443)

On 07/29/2010 at 6:56am - misc - by Andre - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (2927)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29868) - you deserved it (3269)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (3058)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

#13432700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (6735)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you deserved it (2946)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

#13536174
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (3551)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:48am - health - by catattack78 (man) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: