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Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (5751)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

#12687636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (7560)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm - misc - by Nick - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (3144)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

#13346165
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8147) - you deserved it (31782)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Remember the parking brake - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (2250)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (2567)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML

#13699572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (4146)

On 11/03/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by shunned (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (12231)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (4152)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (31312)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML

#18142584
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (2560)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm - love - by lebowski101 - Canada (British Columbia)



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