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Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

#13927206
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8046) - you deserved it (30870)

On 11/21/2010 at 5:36pm - work - by BlackRavenWings - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

#12895675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36638) - you deserved it (7395)

On 09/04/2010 at 1:15am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

#14507444
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (4033)

On 01/08/2011 at 11:01am - love - by Lily - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

#14586619
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12211) - you deserved it (36660)

On 01/15/2011 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

#14606739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (4317)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my wife insisted on naming our first child "George" if it was a boy. It was her first love's name. FML

#14501149
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (2425)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (3691)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (4769)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30567) - you deserved it (8922)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

#14811207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36817) - you deserved it (4461)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

#14723945
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (5293)

On 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by PLU (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

#15001986
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (2827)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

#17869528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (2266)

On 09/30/2011 at 7:10am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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