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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting it in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

#21284691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33229) - you deserved it (4435)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML

#21459682
60 comments

Today, I found out my boyfriend was on a dating website. He came up as an ideal match for my sister. FML

#21333814
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (2961)

On 01/09/2015 at 7:06am - love - by ohdearyme - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34934) - you deserved it (5548)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (11325)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (3254)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (7322)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about it, she now just sits and stares at me judgmentally whenever I'm in the same room as her, making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. FML

#21376248
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (6668)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (3320)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML

#21334385
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (21161)

On 01/10/2015 at 9:35am - misc - by kb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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