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Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20968) - you deserved it (2238)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22522) - you deserved it (5864)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

#17171472
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23900) - you deserved it (10994)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by nataliepaige - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML

#18118791
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (3497)

On 10/31/2011 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Hollywoodanonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (4816)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

#19601816
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7862) - you deserved it (24165)

On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

#19449205
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16165) - you deserved it (2275)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:06am - misc - by Sios (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (3515)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16127) - you deserved it (5928)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that my "cash back rewards" for credit card purchases are mailed with the monthly statement. The same monthly statement that goes straight into the shredder or fireplace because I prefer to do my banking online. FML

#18996100
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6932) - you deserved it (37506)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:51pm - money - by twiggy24 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21491) - you deserved it (2114)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22167) - you deserved it (2638)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

#19566748
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (3273)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada



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