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Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

#516952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57150) - you deserved it (12809)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

#529692
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56494) - you deserved it (22924)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. Clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML

#2763386
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47615) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/10/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

#832595
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55006) - you deserved it (17235)

On 04/06/2009 at 9:39am - health - by blahbags (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

#1215517
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51700) - you deserved it (7380)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by DonMare (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

#1342921
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48212) - you deserved it (3694)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:35am - work - by shadowednavi (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom told me I was a bad daughter because I didn't get anything for my parents' anniversary. I just sent my brother a check for $400 for my share of their gift. FML

#3560349
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (2902)

On 07/07/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by andrie09 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35328) - you deserved it (2812)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

#1814886
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64450) - you deserved it (3596)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119605) - you deserved it (12874)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25209) - you deserved it (77314)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87224) - you deserved it (7227)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was leading a wheelchair fundraiser to raise money to make public areas wheelchair accessible. I had several guest speakers, all of which were confined to wheelchairs. About ten minutes after the fundraiser was supposed to begin, I realized that the stage was wheelchair incompatible. FML

#621759
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16322) - you deserved it (75498)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:40pm - work - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)



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