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Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 9:04am / Israel / Love

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

by Jen__ / 03/22/2014 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of my career, I realized I misread the question. FML

by IBS / 05/06/2014 at 5:11am / China (Shanghai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

by CEO / 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2014 at 11:45am / Australia / Love

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

by over prtective father / 06/24/2014 at 12:35am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

by ninnang / 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

by BrewPack / 07/13/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

by justthinkofyourhand / 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

by HauntedTwilight / 08/14/2014 at 9:09pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm / Transportation