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Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents house instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (60666)
On 02/26/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by JessP (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14314) - you deserved it (38053)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (29614)
On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (6894)
On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53596) - you deserved it (3895)
On 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand
Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (4327)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36659) - you deserved it (4243)
On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)
Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (32670)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35405) - you deserved it (1936)
On 05/26/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Allen (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (5425)
On 12/08/2008 at 7:05am - intimacy - by Soline - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (5473)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)
Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (2467)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36587) - you deserved it (2473)
On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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