Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML

#3053433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you deserved it (4451)

On 06/20/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by DesDri (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML

#1933415
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41679) - you deserved it (14827)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by shrimp41 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

#1814886
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59982) - you deserved it (3235)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

#4949959
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42676) - you deserved it (2266)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by soaked (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

#485057
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58006) - you deserved it (13483)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML

#2104254
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47814) - you deserved it (8200)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

#5678496
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (8838)

On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42345) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

#5798197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (3091)

On 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm - love - by Sucker (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was going to take my boyfriend to Napa. It's my birthday and I wanted to do something big since last year my fiancée called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" my ex. This makes two consecutive birthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. FML

#5413362
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38595) - you deserved it (5430)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

#4011609
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (3357)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

#5186777
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (4264)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML

#4203113
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38280) - you deserved it (6339)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:58am - love - by Unclicked (woman) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: