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Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

#459140
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16418) - you deserved it (92675)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

#516140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70020) - you deserved it (6221)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm - misc - by motherdearest (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

#14377623
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (2358)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Shepaintsmusic -

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (48257)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

#1806338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15291) - you deserved it (42089)

On 05/10/2009 at 6:23am - work - by chocofreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML

#1962325
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50080) - you deserved it (3870)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML

#19111360
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22873) - you deserved it (10277)

On 02/18/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by snowinggrey - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

#2645641
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14536) - you deserved it (40139)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14627) - you deserved it (67611)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, a co-worker superior to me called me "Stephanie" yet again. My name is Ashley. I politely informed her that my name is Ashley and subtely pointed to my work ID. Later, I get called into my supervisor's office. I got written up for correcting someone of higher status that I. FML

#219945
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59681) - you deserved it (3055)

On 03/05/2009 at 7:15pm - work - by yankeebelle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (173484) - you deserved it (21508)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46460) - you deserved it (20516)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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