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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

#15015592
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11207) - you deserved it (32792)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my wife is totally convinced that she was abducted by aliens last night, all because she fell out of bed. FML

#18464914
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (2231)

On 12/08/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ET (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the company I work for decided to "go green" and stopped using the air conditioner to cool down the office. It is currently 81 degrees at my desk. FML

#15681231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29649) - you deserved it (4390)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:55pm - work - by Dave (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30612) - you deserved it (6379)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

#17734053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (2167)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

#16395654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34777) - you deserved it (5602)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9112) - you deserved it (94569) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

#19417580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5664) - you deserved it (21636)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

#19447044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19493) - you deserved it (1682)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35511) - you deserved it (3484)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

#16181448
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35093) - you deserved it (3183)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by jruth7 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

#17708531
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9128) - you deserved it (46259)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (2688)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States



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