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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

#10752650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13979) - you deserved it (32565)

On 05/25/2010 at 8:32am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

#13696419
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (4223)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:00am - misc - by 6boss - Sent from mobile version

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

#10615901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (6556)

On 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by MisterT (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (23672)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

#12524793
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26479) - you deserved it (3358)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:10pm - work - by hobosarea-holes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML

#11511687
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/28/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by Kim422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was applying some acne ointment. The directions said, "Apply a thin layer, covering the entire affected area." In other words, for me: My entire face. Lovely. FML

#8988436
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (3653)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

#14444191
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (3329)

On 01/02/2011 at 9:58pm - work - by sleepy (woman) - Norway

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

#14244389
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34900) - you deserved it (4065)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6675) - you deserved it (34106)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to confront my boyfriend after finding a girl's phone number next to my bed. He said I was over reacting. When I told him it was over, he asked for the number back so he could call her. FML

#12748715
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (8254)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:11am - love - by tj - United States

Today, my family is going to the USA for Christmas after being lucky and getting their tickets re-booked. My ticket was canceled due to the snow, and will not be re-booked. Merry Christmas to me, myself and a bottle of wine. FML

#14269237
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (2441)

On 12/20/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5249) - you deserved it (44485)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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