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Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

by anonymous / 09/04/2010 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2010 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

by sunkissedberries / 07/15/2010 at 12:12am / United States / Love

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 7:48am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I have dandruff when a chick passed by and said out loud to her friends: "That dude's hair is having an early Xmas!" FML

by Dandruff / 05/24/2010 at 12:14pm / Health

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

by superconfused16 / 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

by pandaboo / 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 12:28am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

by Sean / 10/27/2010 at 6:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

by 6boss / 11/03/2010 at 1:00am / Miscellaneous

Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML

by harvdog / 10/02/2010 at 3:43pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

by meegs / 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous