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Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46033) - you deserved it (4604)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43848) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (2789)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34434) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML

#20999504
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40551) - you deserved it (2801)

On 12/20/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by fuck you, boss (man) - United States

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44803) - you deserved it (3472)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42678) - you deserved it (5637)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (10489)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I bought an automatic air refresher. I put the can and batteries in, and it promptly sprayed a blast of its scent down my throat. Now I can't breathe without tasting it. FML

#21032966
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (9021)

On 01/19/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (4383)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47416) - you deserved it (4846)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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