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Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

#20093571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (1435)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML

#20011081
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6451) - you deserved it (15287)

On 08/09/2012 at 6:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

#19980789
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10649) - you deserved it (20125)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:10am - animals - by screw the cat (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML

#19883024
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19255) - you deserved it (6097)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:53pm - misc - by 21! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (5693)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (5169)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (3262)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (1416)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38867) - you deserved it (7379)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34108) - you deserved it (9184)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (7951)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21024) - you deserved it (11391)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (3699)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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