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Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (1496)
On 02/29/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by mandygeegoesnom - United States
Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (2810)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12329) - you deserved it (3638)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm - kids - by jessye1182 - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (1250)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by darawbs - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12407) - you deserved it (2169)
On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (1119)
On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15691) - you deserved it (3402)
On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20495) - you deserved it (1928)
On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17219) - you deserved it (1002)
On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (2592)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2539)
On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (6234)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (1428)
On 03/19/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by thirddegreeburned - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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