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Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

#16531182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50466) - you deserved it (3723)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by Danielle - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

#19580069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (3323)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked: "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

#10918883
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29012) - you deserved it (3299)

On 06/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Kagura - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

#18106898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11503) - you deserved it (29307)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Messiahman - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

#18666751
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (2290)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

#16717127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34761) - you deserved it (10349)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Willow - United States

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28520) - you deserved it (6246)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51369) - you deserved it (5617)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (5486)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

#17515191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (22274)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

#19044019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Saw (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



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