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Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

#5387422
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (3184)

On 09/21/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by issy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48677) - you deserved it (2186)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML

#5675948
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35854) - you deserved it (3241)

On 10/06/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by mahlee (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML

#6184737
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (2361)

On 11/06/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by imsad (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

#6024330
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (7464)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

#6222212
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (4813)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:05am - love - by alltern8ive (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (5860)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

#6130928
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (6689)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:06am - money - by LC (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29318) - you deserved it (5376)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

#6169373
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31026) - you deserved it (3789)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

#6145744
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27418) - you deserved it (5632)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:26am - work - by dishwasherforlife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her my umbrella and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML

#6686703
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (2438)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by MynameisntToby (man) - United States (Texas)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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