Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (16877)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (6892)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (2346)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56653) - you deserved it (4751)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48230) - you deserved it (9798)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

#243947
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82097) - you deserved it (4335)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML

#250942
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75149) - you deserved it (5349)

On 03/09/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by NowABlonde (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64340) - you deserved it (4664)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

#480695
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (94329)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

#529692
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52864) - you deserved it (21782)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

#705801
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53601) - you deserved it (16700)

On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

#1014149
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98771) - you deserved it (15026)

On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: