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Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Half-way through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML

#19643133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (8569)

On 05/18/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29926) - you deserved it (2799)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

#18631126
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (1852)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:32am - health - by loveurlifejk - United States

Today, my younger cousin bought his girlfriend of 3 months a bunch of flowers. The only flower I've ever got from my boyfriend of 3 years is a plastic one he found on the floor in a bar. FML

#17904987
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (3898)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9714) - you deserved it (27704)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (5700)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

#16761354
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (7514)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:59am - misc - by m2k (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17816) - you deserved it (5346)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML

#19072736
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (2104)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by BLAH (woman) - Philippines

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

#18631063
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32091) - you deserved it (2582)

On 12/28/2011 at 1:23am - love - by foreveralonecatlady (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

#17863596
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (2828)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

#18829568
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9316) - you deserved it (27123)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by potatoes - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (5827)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States



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