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Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (6561)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16350) - you deserved it (21605)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

#21399833
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (2493)

On 04/26/2015 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

#21389237
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34033) - you deserved it (2557)

On 04/07/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by f my lifw - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

#21423486
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (1611)

On 06/09/2015 at 6:30pm - misc - by I-love-my-tea - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (2867)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (2277)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (1984)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

#21443864
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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