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Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML

#20500922
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

#20470349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

#20490092
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (2402)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (2193)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (45498)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

#20525834
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25172) - you deserved it (10608)

On 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50345) - you deserved it (5742)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39463) - you deserved it (14824)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39697) - you deserved it (4865)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

#20635835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49437) - you deserved it (2297)

On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38616) - you deserved it (13748)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56480) - you deserved it (4956)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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