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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to admit that I hate the wedding dress that I've designed. My wedding is in a week. FML

#19469447
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9055) - you deserved it (28206)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:02pm - misc - by al (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

#19764261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17329) - you deserved it (9563)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by yeyt209 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (2219)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8712) - you deserved it (42247)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (2670) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (2978)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (5915)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

#20045097
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21182) - you deserved it (8290)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm - misc - by arh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (32644)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

#20060179
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (1812)

On 09/06/2012 at 7:15am - work - by Jessica S. (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (1548)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)



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