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Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6236) - you deserved it (18272)
On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (1173)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11719) - you deserved it (17053)
On 11/17/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by HunniBeeHuni (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22631) - you deserved it (1365)
On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (7365)
On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (3635)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13574) - you deserved it (1822)
On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16223) - you deserved it (6610)
On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (2302)
On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (2311)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (16914)
On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6853) - you deserved it (11116)
On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, after five months of working overtime and doing my own repairs around the house, such as patching my own roof to save money, I walk into my home office. I find my $2500, week old, top of the line laptop won't turn on because it's drenched in water. Apparently there's a leak in the roof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10707) - you deserved it (17590)
On 12/11/2009 at 6:11am - misc - by LostFocus - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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