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Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (2865)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has lost interest in our relationship. She's found out she likes drinking. A lot. FML

#20783573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40272) - you deserved it (3538)

On 07/15/2013 at 2:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43150) - you deserved it (4693)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (37926)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (17980)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (2518)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48746) - you deserved it (5980)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60743) - you deserved it (5966)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45113) - you deserved it (4023)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39088) - you deserved it (3774)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (6807)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (11017)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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