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Today, my boyfriend was leaving for work. From the other room I heard him call out, "see you soon beautiful." Touched, I went to give him a parting kiss. He stopped me and said, "I was talking to the cat." FML

#4656654
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40124) - you deserved it (4240)

On 08/19/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by burned_away - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

#5488289
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (7177)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

#3777907
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (52861)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Alex - United States (Virginia)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36586) - you deserved it (3191)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32732) - you deserved it (2865)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

#4726515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (2739)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:39am - animals - by bigscarypuppy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

#5052267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7694) - you deserved it (39490)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:06am - animals - by spideypowers (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while driving on the tollway my car overheated and died a few yards from the toll booth. I then had to wait, crying, in my smoking car for a patrol guy while cars moved around me. He had to push me through the toll and the lady in the booth said she felt sorry for me but still took my $3. FML

#5157778
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30116) - you deserved it (4555)

On 09/09/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML

#5644801
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33408) - you deserved it (12748)

On 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by neverStopLaughin - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

#6118877
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (4665)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by feelthelove - United States

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

#5954994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33508) - you deserved it (5697)

On 10/23/2009 at 2:51am - misc - by wahwah (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27558) - you deserved it (3416)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML

#6342869
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (11534)

On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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