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Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40325) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45845) - you deserved it (9128)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

#21023884
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (4424)

On 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by lk mm, n vwls (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

#21000259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (4403)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37952) - you deserved it (2994)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

#21045309
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm - health - by ramble ramble (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (41954)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (3808)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33247) - you deserved it (15218)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (8175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37924) - you deserved it (5520)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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