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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

#20551968
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (1913)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:59am - love - by lp525252 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34454) - you deserved it (4408)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45447) - you deserved it (2832)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41152) - you deserved it (5313)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54815) - you deserved it (4726)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (4640)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8513) - you deserved it (427)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I’m starting my 28th year with 28 cents on my bank account. FML

#227
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (8704)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:41am - money - by Yohm - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17084) - you deserved it (1860)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13054) - you deserved it (4485)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

#1058
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17700) - you deserved it (1385)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

#1108
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11179) - you deserved it (2616)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Hungry - United States (Virginia)



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