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Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36494) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

#21335513
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39645) - you deserved it (3599)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by reallyson? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34507) - you deserved it (6029)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML

#21323138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (2334)

On 12/24/2014 at 7:03am - misc - by jflac (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (6165)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

#21272236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (3660)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm - misc - by thenewgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

#21271391
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (4460)

On 10/05/2014 at 5:34pm - kids - by SmellyCloset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

#21314515
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (3807)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm - love - by thatsnice - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

#21328280
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (3685)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:50am - health - by hungry - United States

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (2867)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (4111)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada



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