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Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML

#21129594
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (4762)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by wtf - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

#21166210
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37489) - you deserved it (13305)

On 06/07/2014 at 3:16pm - work - by fstfckd (man) - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48075) - you deserved it (3506)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (21178)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42182) - you deserved it (5616)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41608) - you deserved it (3531)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

#21237282
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34936) - you deserved it (2769)

On 08/14/2014 at 6:31am - work - by givemestrength - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39182) - you deserved it (3970)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (4799)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34165) - you deserved it (3211)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32424) - you deserved it (4144)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)



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