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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that I have enough driving skills to manage to hit a pothole and have two of my tires go flat. FML

#14954062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8523) - you deserved it (11341)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by FlatTire - United States (Colorado)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (2320)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

#15025129
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you deserved it (29388)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:33am - work - by Username -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (2345)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

#14851025
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (2022)

On 02/05/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by MissCommunication (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML

#15144008
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5531) - you deserved it (25968)

On 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by shirley (woman) - Spain

Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML

#15576968
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14191) - you deserved it (10812)

On 03/31/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by BudmaudeY (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

#15112271
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19570) - you deserved it (7139)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. After he did, he walked over to his friends. I saw him tell them that he broke up with me. After he finished all of them cheered. FML

#18500150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (6792)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:38am - love - by 50love - United States

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (3222)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (35896)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

#18195085
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25531) - you deserved it (2196)

On 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20624) - you deserved it (2898)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -



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