Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (2275)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33892) - you deserved it (2447)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

#18460335
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (1894)

On 12/08/2011 at 1:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42051) - you deserved it (5520)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

#4484
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62717) - you deserved it (7382)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32465) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (2429)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9437) - you deserved it (62781)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50848) - you deserved it (8963)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69274) - you deserved it (2901)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (77211)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: