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Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (5860)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

#6130928
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38013) - you deserved it (6687)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:06am - money - by LC (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32552) - you deserved it (3746)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (5375)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

#6169373
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (3789)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9909) - you deserved it (26976)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

#6145744
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27412) - you deserved it (5632)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:26am - work - by dishwasherforlife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20256) - you deserved it (3775)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lend her my umbrella and help her across. When we get to the other side, she says "Thank you Toby," and then refuses to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML

#6686703
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (2438)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by MynameisntToby (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36718) - you deserved it (3377)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36930) - you deserved it (4495)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31092) - you deserved it (11613)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30520) - you deserved it (2790)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)



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