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Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43597) - you deserved it (3484)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58027) - you deserved it (7249)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34029) - you deserved it (11002)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41596) - you deserved it (8632)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

#21127804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39700) - you deserved it (4630)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:59am - misc - by sadSarah - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

#21151774
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (4372)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML

#21160163
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52106) - you deserved it (4001)

On 06/02/2014 at 3:33am - misc - by really?? - United States (California)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46759) - you deserved it (3175)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (58854)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43529) - you deserved it (3738)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

#21192976
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42457) - you deserved it (11594)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wooden floor gave me a splinter on the bottom of my foot. I don't have the flexibility nor the eyesight to find it. FML

#21208684
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (6829)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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