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Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

#20566826
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36828) - you deserved it (3642)

On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30133) - you deserved it (2942)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I overheard the guy I like talking to one of his friends about me. His friend asked if he and I were dating, to which he replied, "No way, dude. I have standards." FML

#20608351
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49380) - you deserved it (4432)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (4806)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38841) - you deserved it (7569)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

#20716841
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54994) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Crazy Mom (woman) - United States

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43310) - you deserved it (6608)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62296) - you deserved it (4176)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47814) - you deserved it (4019)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40803) - you deserved it (5141)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML

#20722747
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (8584)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (2801)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41244) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)



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