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Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31935) - you deserved it (2152)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27799) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (15801)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (2382)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

#21389237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (2530)

On 04/07/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by f my lifw - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15521) - you deserved it (5627)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

#245
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (12706)

On 11/07/2008 at 10:33am - work - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46396) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (8069)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9731) - you deserved it (33065)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31248) - you deserved it (5619)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38527) - you deserved it (17945)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39581) - you deserved it (10033)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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