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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (6844)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

#7378045
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22145) - you deserved it (10795)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by queenofdeath - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31758) - you deserved it (2818)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28568) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (3178)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was building new fixtures at work. As I assembled the top holding bar on the second section, my boss came up and smacked it to try and scare me. She knocked the top holding bar, which is made of steel, onto my head, and then all the sections went on to fall like dominoes. FML

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (4683)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

#7885768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (4858)

On 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by MafiaWarsWidow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

#13987283
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (5475)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

#14138227
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (4656)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:33am - love - by owew -

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5254) - you deserved it (22577)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

#13813299
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (5740)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:06am - love - by Samipearl - United States (Georgia)



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