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Today, my cell phone service was interrupted because I owed the company 27 cents. It cost 36 dollars to reinstate my service. FML

#2373894
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43267) - you deserved it (10309)

On 05/28/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by Princess (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

#1427815
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40753) - you deserved it (7603)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

#2045197
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40853) - you deserved it (5298)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:22am - kids - by BeatenUpPup (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

#1315045
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46670) - you deserved it (14553)

On 04/25/2009 at 7:50am - money - by Nicked (woman) - Israel

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41699) - you deserved it (7717)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

#121386
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44005) - you deserved it (4966)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML

#133390
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45131) - you deserved it (5532)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm - work - by hairy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy who I've been on five dates with called me for the first time in 2 weeks. The first thing I said was, "Don't expect me to go out with you again after going AWOL on me." Then he told me his mom died. FML

#198130
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15426) - you deserved it (64828)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68942) - you deserved it (22298)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77526) - you deserved it (8178)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have atleast combed it!" FML

#574759
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64857) - you deserved it (5579)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Rai (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

#853459
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58677) - you deserved it (7388)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by saltynutz20 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

#899403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17409) - you deserved it (57011)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)



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