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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

#3502786
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41450) - you deserved it (1832)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:58am - love - by curiousorange (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

#2036328
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (2386)

On 05/17/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by gameguy3424 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

#214939
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44266) - you deserved it (3281)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:14am - work - by Shell (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16292) - you deserved it (43185)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48024) - you deserved it (3235)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

#13957675
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16179) - you deserved it (2209)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML

#1283433
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (32912)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by raerae (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, after living with my mom for years to save money I finally moved into my first condo. The day after I made my first mortgage payment the sewage system back up and leaked into my bedroom from outside, ruining the carpets and the walls. I have to move back in with my mom until it’s fixed. FML

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

#3722390
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35155) - you deserved it (2086)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by jennybrev (woman) - United States

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

#5826781
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15304) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

#5692433
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (2676)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

#6098461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (1617)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:37am - love - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss was handing me a list of phone numbers to call people and terminate them from their jobs here at the company. My phone was on that list. I don't know what's worse, not realizing it was my number until I heard my voicemail or getting terminated from my job. FML

#4714930
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/21/2009 at 6:12pm - work - by Cally (woman) - United States (Florida)



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