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Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39829) - you deserved it (12544)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

#5248876
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23851) - you deserved it (4575)

On 09/14/2009 at 8:58am - intimacy - by Humiliated (woman) - United States

Today, my landlord asked to borrow my truck to move some furniture. When she returned it, I noticed she had filled the gas tank up. I thanked her for doing so, and she handed me the receipt and said "just add it to next month's rent". FML

#4974639
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41788) - you deserved it (3017)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:07am - money - by overdriven07 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML

#5825419
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (1532)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

#5358347
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31753) - you deserved it (8990)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

#3838963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41703) - you deserved it (3880)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

#3910335
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46268) - you deserved it (4048)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by dwellswithin (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML

#5772637
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, my mom found a new favorite game. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and still have not been able to find a job (months after graduating college). Due to this stress I cry easily, her game? Seeing how many times a day she can make me boo-hoo. FML

#5153713
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (7998)

On 09/09/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by sadchick (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

#4517705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15568) - you deserved it (42169)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:29am - misc - by neverbeensurprised (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML

#4203113
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (6333)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:58am - love - by Unclicked (woman) - Singapore

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13244) - you deserved it (53960)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (11078)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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