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Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41816) - you deserved it (3294)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26994) - you deserved it (9912)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33889) - you deserved it (2446)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, marks the two weeks since my paycheck should have arrived. During these two weeks, my battery has failed, tire has blown, and my phone and water bill have become past due. When I called the guy who's supposed to pay me, he said he has a note about it "somewhere on my desk". FML

#18460335
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (1892)

On 12/08/2011 at 1:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (5520)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

#4484
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62713) - you deserved it (7382)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (2429)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9435) - you deserved it (62780)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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