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Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36089) - you deserved it (3447)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39450) - you deserved it (2957)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (3902)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37363) - you deserved it (7239)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43387) - you deserved it (6459)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (39081)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (6569)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

#20955154
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (2424)

On 11/12/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37346) - you deserved it (3293)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45772) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40709) - you deserved it (3579)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

#20980454
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (5374)

On 12/04/2013 at 1:39pm - love - by heartbroken - United States (West Virginia)



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