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Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML

#17352366
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (4243)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:47am - love - by Cow_girl_cutie - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

#17965758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8814) - you deserved it (22260)

On 10/12/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by spoiled22 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (3787)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16742) - you deserved it (1775)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

#19838135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14104) - you deserved it (6218)

On 06/24/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20041) - you deserved it (2544)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18133) - you deserved it (1328)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

#19385334
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5622) - you deserved it (27103)

On 03/31/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by whatnow - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (1717)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12286) - you deserved it (46549)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18456) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18274) - you deserved it (6892)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)



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