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Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45416) - you deserved it (4946)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (3786)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59116) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39032) - you deserved it (13704)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44826) - you deserved it (4195)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46674) - you deserved it (3907)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

#20818297
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43636) - you deserved it (14506)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:40am - love - by Msmerfner - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50083) - you deserved it (3342)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47937) - you deserved it (3792) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (41551)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39828) - you deserved it (2905)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)



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