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Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

by GonnaGetFired / 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

by misTreated / 05/30/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend gave me a pair of ankle weights for my birthday. How utterly romantic. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2010 at 8:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I unpacked in my new, non-air conditioned apartment wearing nothing but underwear, a tank top and an apron to stay cool. Later, I realized I'd crossed through the complex to my car and the dumpster many times, and arranged my deck overlooking the parking lot, without ever donning shorts. FML

by WelcomeWagon / 06/28/2010 at 4:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I have been studying for the wrong final exam. One more hour until the test. FML

by finalssuck / 05/21/2010 at 11:01am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, my loving boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to the cinema with the girl he loves. The other girl he loves, but don't worry it's "not" a date. FML

by Squishy / 08/22/2010 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Love

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

by Unwanted / 06/10/2010 at 8:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

by Username / 09/04/2010 at 9:24am / Love

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

by 6boss / 11/03/2010 at 1:00am / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my big sister's birthday, and I was told the iPod I ordered her online was not coming due to a mix up. I drove to three different electronic stores before I found the one she wanted. After spending forever in traffic, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. It was her iPod. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 12:09am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

by ugh / 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids