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Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (4245)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

#6840782
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (2053)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:32am - work - by Van (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

#6809033
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (9118)

On 12/18/2009 at 10:20am - intimacy - by eatmyshipoopie (woman) - United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot)

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35590) - you deserved it (3965)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (3832)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9097) - you deserved it (32890)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (3901)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22550) - you deserved it (3447)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13704) - you deserved it (27059)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

#7384100
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (8396)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

#8158175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (2270)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (2849)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (2953)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)



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