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Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

#21361960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (2027)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:42pm - work - by Confused and Disgusted - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after being with the company for over 3 years, I realised nobody really knows my name. This was after my boss was walking around a new staff member and couldn't introduce me. Neither could my colleague, who's been sitting next to me for the last 6 months. FML

#21358494
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/18/2015 at 7:35am - work - by lonergirl - Australia

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

#21361118
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (3105)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm - work - by vaylosa (woman) -

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12765) - you deserved it (32766)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33950) - you deserved it (2449)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42360) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (8060)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21171) - you deserved it (4188)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (5023)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (17602)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50288) - you deserved it (5105)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML

#267564
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63311) - you deserved it (8262)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:04am - misc - by fmlmylife - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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