Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (5251)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

#19195246
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (4168)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

#16725685
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (4855)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42186) - you deserved it (7498)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

#17956536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (5792)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (2097)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

#18386574
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35776) - you deserved it (2162)

On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (3522)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

#17855277
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML

#17834355
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33343) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/25/2011 at 9:57pm - work - by Chan - United States (Virginia)

Today, my manager came into the dog grooming salon I work at, lecturing about the importance of staying out of a dog's "bite zone". Right then, the dog I was working on bit me. FML

#18765091
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:50am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (2459)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: