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Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (6066)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too funny". FML

#14386335
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (5344)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (1824)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17431) - you deserved it (2061)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he is homophobic. This wouldn't be such a big deal, if my mother wasn't a lesbian. He doesn't know this yet, and I'm afraid to tell him. FML

#16636156
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (5919)

On 06/12/2011 at 11:20pm - love - by ash - United States (Missouri)

Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He saw nothing wrong with that. FML

#14787217
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (3304)

On 01/31/2011 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, lice were found in my hair. At the hair salon. I'm now banned from that salon. FML

#15000870
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (8306)

On 02/16/2011 at 9:26am - health - by mojolady -

Today, our boss asked us out to lunch and told us to choose wherever we wanted to eat. Thinking that she’d be paying for it, we chose a pricey seafood restaurant. When we'd eaten, she told us that we could pay her back later. FML

#15111306
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11675) - you deserved it (3350)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:27am - money - by naughtytwinsisters (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (2163)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20145) - you deserved it (2923)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

#15083681
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15727) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Taylor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

#15392908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28835) - you deserved it (9860)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:52am - love - by changeddaily (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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