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Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18595) - you deserved it (7361)
On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23079) - you deserved it (3635)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13550) - you deserved it (1822)
On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16210) - you deserved it (6607)
On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19924) - you deserved it (2302)
On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (2310)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7236) - you deserved it (16895)
On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (11056)
On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, after five months of working overtime and doing my own repairs around the house, such as patching my own roof to save money, I walk into my home office. I find my $2500, week old, top of the line laptop won't turn on because it's drenched in water. Apparently there's a leak in the roof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10703) - you deserved it (17583)
On 12/11/2009 at 6:11am - misc - by LostFocus - United States (California)
Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17445) - you deserved it (2028)
On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18675) - you deserved it (3822)
On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16553) - you deserved it (2061)
On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)
Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (1616)
On 12/25/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by C45 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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