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Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20346) - you deserved it (2691)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

#19684423
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20203) - you deserved it (1523)

On 05/26/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by gazza (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (26769)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (1883)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML

#19838088
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (4939)

On 06/24/2012 at 6:57am - misc - by thankspal (woman) - United States

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (2842)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML

#20026086
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (1737)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19109) - you deserved it (3788)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML

#19969861
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (1513)

On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22317) - you deserved it (1743)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

#20078825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (2416)

On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (2097)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25495) - you deserved it (1451)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)



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