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Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

#5875643
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (4570)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by Anonwymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31086) - you deserved it (3445)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

#6177742
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (6300)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:05am - health - by sadparty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting while making dinner. I went to pour the noodles into the boiling water and I dropped my phone in. Not thinking, I went to retrieve it from the water. I now have a completely useless phone and a useless hand. FML

#6262427
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9080) - you deserved it (32139)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

#6378315
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7565) - you deserved it (30237)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

#6322699
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10968) - you deserved it (23224)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by bananaface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5739) - you deserved it (33802)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

#6618449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18031) - you deserved it (6537)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by yoyo22 - United States

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

#6926304
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (6145)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

#6741801
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4297) - you deserved it (30703)

On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (3113)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML

#6904777
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5195) - you deserved it (30523)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



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