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Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17990) - you deserved it (6078)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my 20 year old son decided it would be funny to unbuckle my seat belt while the cops were right beside us. FML

#12212564
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (3695)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by anne (woman) - Canada

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5214) - you deserved it (44316)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (13150)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22831) - you deserved it (5746)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

#12687636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (7556)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm - misc - by Nick - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (3140)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

#13346165
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (31747)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by Remember the parking brake - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (2248)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after waiting all day to get into my favorite band's concert, I got front row. At the end, one of them grabbed my CD and got the whole band to sign it. The last band member tossed it into the crowd, nowhere near me. FML

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (2564)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML

#13699572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (4140)

On 11/03/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by shunned (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (1598)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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