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Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML

#13972992
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29947) - you deserved it (3488)

On 11/25/2010 at 9:48am - animals - by Seline -

Today, I tried to fix my laptop charger by fiddling around with it using metal tweezers. Not only did I forget to unplug the cord and shocked myself, I also ended up breaking the charger completely. FML

#14044782
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4753) - you deserved it (42289)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML

#12530791
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (2692)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:39am - work - by ouch (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

#14242813
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (27561)

On 12/18/2010 at 1:03am - work - by Pouya - United States

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

#13895610
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you deserved it (2312)

On 11/19/2010 at 1:07am - health - by fightingkittens (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (4316)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16911) - you deserved it (2386)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

#11848419
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (33881)

On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5178) - you deserved it (16835)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

#14120407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (2151)

On 12/07/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rattness (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16440) - you deserved it (6065)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too funny". FML

#14386335
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (5344)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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