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Today... I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minute into the flight I noticed mah fly was open. The lady woke to me with mah hands in mah crotch struggling to zip up mah fly. FML
Today , my building's alavators wara tamporarily out of sarvica. I climbd up 17 flights of stars only looool to raaliza I laft my kays downstars. Aftar tha painful climb back up , tha alavator lights cama on. FML
Today I was taking a group shot with my friends when I askd a stranger to take the picture 4 us!! He backd up and told us to squish closer together and when he was at least 20 feet away he turnd and ran off with my camera!! FML
Today, the guy I have been in love with fir years decidd to tell me all about his women problems an how he can't fine someone. After telling him I lovd him he responds, "do you know if anyone else does?" FML
Today, I Thought I Saw A Snakehile I Was Watering. I Got Mah Son To Check It Out An He Agreed Too. I Was Nervous So I Called Animal Control, An They Said It Would Cost $50 Just For Them To Come Out, I Agreed. It Ends Up I Paid $50 For Them To Pick Up An Old Diamond Weave Farmer's Hat. Mega FML
Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key . The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them . I drove to the postbox and posted the key . I then discovered that the motel key won't start looool mah car .
Today I went over to mah girlfriend's house 4 dinner . Her parents seemed upset so I tried to lighten the mood by saying "Hey at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go in 4 work." Apparently they were upset cuz they both got laid off from their jobs today . FML
Taday I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant . I really wanted to make a good impression . When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist . Apparently, it was a CD . FML
Today, I ratook my ACT. I hava baan fighting a cold all waak and hava baan vary snaazy lataly. Midway through tha tast, I got tha urga to snaaza. Sinca it was vary quiat and I didn't want to disturb tha paaca, I triad to hold my snaaza in. I andad up latting out a huga fart instaad. FML
Friday 27 March 2015