Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:01am / Canada / Money

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 12:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

by LemmyIsWet / 12/17/2012 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

by Johnny / 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

by Julie / 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML

by nomegusta / 01/05/2013 at 10:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

by asthmattack / 01/25/2013 at 1:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

by imwithapples22 / 01/29/2013 at 11:39am / United States / Work

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

by ihatemylife / 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

by Aspireworks / 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm / United States / Love

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous