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Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

#21149888
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49617) - you deserved it (4789)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:14am - love - by SE011194 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

#21139663
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (8280)

On 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm - work - by workfordayzz - United States

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (8709)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML

#21160163
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50447) - you deserved it (3884)

On 06/02/2014 at 3:33am - misc - by really?? - United States (California)

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

#21149418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42514) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by idontevencareanymore (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a very serious case of the shits while in the middle of trying to close a sale, and had to run to the bathroom. My coworker picked up the sale, stealing all the commission in the process. FML

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (16842)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML

#21268375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (2727)

On 09/30/2014 at 2:46pm - health - by Tampax - Spain (Castilla-La Mancha)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40455) - you deserved it (3468)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40416) - you deserved it (4866)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

#21200186
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37862) - you deserved it (5160)

On 07/06/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by x.x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML

#21323138
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (2333)

On 12/24/2014 at 7:03am - misc - by jflac (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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