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Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28916) - you deserved it (3987)
On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47478) - you deserved it (5186)
On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63946) - you deserved it (2984)
On 03/14/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by chessgeeksam - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33594) - you deserved it (2880)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (4630)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:12am - health - by Broken (man) - United States (California)
Today, I drove two and a half hours to a job interview. The interviewer never showed up or called. I sat in the hotel lobby waiting for an hour and a half. Even the hotel staff said they felt sorry for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41264) - you deserved it (1574)
On 05/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18167) - you deserved it (35592)
On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (9398)
On 02/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by goddamitme (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, whence he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44751) - you deserved it (3491)
On 03/05/2009 at 12:14am - work - by UhhhUhhhRRRick (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36877) - you deserved it (4153)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48592) - you deserved it (11353)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by birthdaygirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was working my job as the person who checks people in at the gym. A sweaty chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied with "we like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said "so how did you get the job?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48643) - you deserved it (12495)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:32am - work - by Bubbah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7660) - you deserved it (47773)
On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by imnotcool (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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