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Today, a week after I lost my wallet, replaced the majority of my ID cards, canceled my debit card, and went to the DMV and paid for a replacement driver's license, I found my wallet. It was in my shoe. FML

#19682087
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (25178)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by eddiemusicjazz - United States (California)

Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML

#17609422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29638) - you deserved it (4165)

On 08/29/2011 at 1:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML

#17066735
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28250) - you deserved it (3593)

On 07/11/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by MakeItMaaco (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

#19161181
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (29177)

On 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm - health - by Jared (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

#19575752
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28642) - you deserved it (4668)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

#18666751
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2487)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Lotje13 - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36249) - you deserved it (3507)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (5243)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

#19195246
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (4168)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

#16725685
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (4855)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42180) - you deserved it (7497)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

#17956536
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (5790)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (2096)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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