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Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37972) - you deserved it (5047)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

#21127804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36796) - you deserved it (4363)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:59am - misc - by sadSarah - United States (New York)

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML

#21134881
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39051) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/09/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by fmlgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Zeeland)

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

#21151774
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41629) - you deserved it (4114)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (33055)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

#21161846
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42814) - you deserved it (3664)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by maleficunt (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49714) - you deserved it (3661)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

#21300362
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (5069)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36821) - you deserved it (3451)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43166) - you deserved it (6158)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (11813)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML



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