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Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36256) - you deserved it (16859)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (5608)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML

#21177954
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43356) - you deserved it (2978)

On 06/17/2014 at 11:28am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57226) - you deserved it (5301)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you deserved it (57483)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42699) - you deserved it (3948)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (8610)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (46308)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41178) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

#21272236
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32796) - you deserved it (3280)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm - misc - by thenewgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

#21280817
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34486) - you deserved it (6028)

On 10/19/2014 at 12:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (15178)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)



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