Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

#14597808
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (5724)

On 01/16/2011 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

#14669350
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (9670)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Peter C. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (3044)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dried my hands on the same towel I used this morning to wipe up a few shards of glass. You can't see the small splinters in my hands, but believe me, I can feel them. FML

#15196116
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14267) - you deserved it (39499)

On 03/04/2011 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding and was shocked that the cop asked me out. Before I could respond, he noticed my wedding ring, said "Nevermind" and then gave me a ticket. FML

#14751660
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (4716)

On 01/29/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

#15029276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39299) - you deserved it (3175)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

#15185278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24252) - you deserved it (7603)

On 03/03/2011 at 9:21am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours upon hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "that was a gift." FML

#16666880
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (7334)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

#19566407
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (2409)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (2132)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

#18369029
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (2371)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

#17836601
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22502) - you deserved it (2269)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: