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Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

#21237282
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34912) - you deserved it (2762)

On 08/14/2014 at 6:31am - work - by givemestrength - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (8386) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (3849)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20888) - you deserved it (5659)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

#4484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61764) - you deserved it (7266)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (9907)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (16869)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

#30360
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12008) - you deserved it (53612)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by a genius (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39351) - you deserved it (9988)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37416) - you deserved it (6887)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56608) - you deserved it (4751)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48200) - you deserved it (9791)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)



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