Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

#12061859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29965) - you deserved it (11342)

On 07/23/2010 at 8:59am - love - by justmyluck25 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML

#12467820
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

#13432700
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25556) - you deserved it (7268)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (2687)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

#13386499
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (3114)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:33am - love - by lightblue - United States (California)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

#14272041
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37512) - you deserved it (9500)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

#14382605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (2354)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (3521)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

#16891673
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (4192)

On 06/28/2011 at 1:35am - misc - by veebenjoo - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML

#14689339
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34471) - you deserved it (5194)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML

#14764680
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)

Today, I worked out that if I paid the minimum monthly amount on my student loans, I'd be paying them until I'm 65. FML

#14636312
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (5577)

On 01/19/2011 at 6:05am - money - by fuckall (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41799) - you deserved it (4830)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: