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Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

#20802373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45693) - you deserved it (7470)

On 07/25/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39427) - you deserved it (3849)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (6726)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50359) - you deserved it (8552)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (4699)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

#20853767
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (9341)

On 08/25/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (8771)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (3062)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41118) - you deserved it (6377)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (3446)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39439) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47113) - you deserved it (3901)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (7235)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)



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