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Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (9618)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (63478)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170014) - you deserved it (8531)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44877) - you deserved it (9877)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50257) - you deserved it (8182)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59049) - you deserved it (3215)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50511) - you deserved it (8990)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35690) - you deserved it (9671)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

#3446185
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14910) - you deserved it (52608)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

#1248718
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (243509)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

#10652042
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37796) - you deserved it (7221)

On 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by fml - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML

#15336709
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (13781)

On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23892) - you deserved it (50784)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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