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Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75159) - you deserved it (4455)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18911) - you deserved it (210630)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58013) - you deserved it (14579)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11065) - you deserved it (202288)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (24287)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39423) - you deserved it (18404)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50558) - you deserved it (19025)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14939) - you deserved it (72843)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55167) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (332369)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (48706)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (37773)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32075) - you deserved it (1655)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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