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Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

#976819
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (198399) - you deserved it (14162)

On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14221) - you deserved it (120419)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52109) - you deserved it (8375)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61331) - you deserved it (3381)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161230) - you deserved it (10361)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (10492)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

#3165947
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (60491)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by jerk (man) - United States (California)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (47834)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40212) - you deserved it (5856)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35648) - you deserved it (9549)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8227) - you deserved it (103349)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)



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