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Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44746) - you deserved it (9854)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18510) - you deserved it (63350)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43289) - you deserved it (9380)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

#10652042
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35418) - you deserved it (6941)

On 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by fml - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50122) - you deserved it (8170)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32991) - you deserved it (9239)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44328) - you deserved it (4015)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168729) - you deserved it (8499)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (11270)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16717) - you deserved it (77246)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50373) - you deserved it (8975)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58919) - you deserved it (3200)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

#3446185
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13446) - you deserved it (50015)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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