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Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

#3446185
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15479) - you deserved it (53667)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42251) - you deserved it (4492)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40007) - you deserved it (87768)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48315) - you deserved it (24524)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML

#15336709
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (14244)

On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

#16534562
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16233) - you deserved it (58732)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13433) - you deserved it (54970)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82963) - you deserved it (5051)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36295) - you deserved it (153580)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54721) - you deserved it (68613)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44340) - you deserved it (2735)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (242112) - you deserved it (30304)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)



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