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Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (61189)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32696) - you deserved it (9205)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42590) - you deserved it (9282)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10076) - you deserved it (60541)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53106) - you deserved it (19874)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (8780)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16598) - you deserved it (76887)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156854) - you deserved it (23913)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

#3446185
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13320) - you deserved it (49737)

On 07/03/2009 at 2:19am - work - by Regina (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77338) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62327) - you deserved it (15794)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML

#17013138
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45985) - you deserved it (24979)

On 07/07/2011 at 11:12am - misc - by Unknown - United States (Missouri)

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (19101)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada



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