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Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36756) - you deserved it (82079)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12524) - you deserved it (211903)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17406) - you deserved it (347710)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12424) - you deserved it (26146)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105682) - you deserved it (12410)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60607) - you deserved it (8345)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the hospital in premature labor. Alone, I texted my best friend/crush and asked him to come and sit with me for an hour while I waited on my mom to arrive. Eating cornflakes and watching TV, he replied "I can't". Apparently TV is more important than a best friend in labor. FML

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43056) - you deserved it (9564)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57805) - you deserved it (13472)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7239) - you deserved it (96234)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (88341)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (61186)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

#9040690
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (15552)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:03am - love - by amber - United States (Arkansas)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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