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Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53510) - you deserved it (13575)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162758) - you deserved it (24850)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12512) - you deserved it (26355)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (9955)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12964) - you deserved it (218552)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54839) - you deserved it (20453)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44676) - you deserved it (9839)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (65978)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (90523)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18258) - you deserved it (62823)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

#16700863
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (9376)

On 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by evomadrid24 - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (369372) - you deserved it (18977)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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