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Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53464) - you deserved it (13571)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I went to the hospital in premature labor. Alone, I texted my best friend/crush and asked him to come and sit with me for an hour while I waited on my mom to arrive. Eating cornflakes and watching TV, he replied "I can't". Apparently TV is more important than a best friend in labor. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60798) - you deserved it (8359)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44509) - you deserved it (9951)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162326) - you deserved it (24828)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12934) - you deserved it (217498)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12502) - you deserved it (26328)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43224) - you deserved it (9583)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (65931)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

#9040690
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (15602)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:03am - love - by amber - United States (Arkansas)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (89864)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17493) - you deserved it (61399)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)



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