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Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12446) - you deserved it (26203)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10311) - you deserved it (65757)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

#11723060
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60649) - you deserved it (8350)

On 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm - love - by whatheffers (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7249) - you deserved it (96425)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (157566) - you deserved it (23946)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43100) - you deserved it (9567)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58129) - you deserved it (13550)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54922) - you deserved it (10508)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (88412)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53142) - you deserved it (19884)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

#9040690
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (15566)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:03am - love - by amber - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17445) - you deserved it (61239)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32746) - you deserved it (9208)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)



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