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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71964) - you deserved it (9858)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58479) - you deserved it (5852)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49600) - you deserved it (15556)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237718) - you deserved it (29799)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109895) - you deserved it (12756)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10919) - you deserved it (124401)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55769) - you deserved it (14048)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

#9040690
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (16671)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:03am - love - by amber - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

#1292043
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76403) - you deserved it (8973)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32008) - you deserved it (28499)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

#2935549
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (28577)

On 06/16/2009 at 7:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (214378)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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