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Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51825) - you deserved it (31453)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18574) - you deserved it (368064)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30491) - you deserved it (6895)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53467) - you deserved it (3283)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40094) - you deserved it (5849)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

#2344396
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16687) - you deserved it (110109)

On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (5804)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46257) - you deserved it (14737)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30101) - you deserved it (52162)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13624) - you deserved it (52799)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44359) - you deserved it (4018)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML

#3180871
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78381) - you deserved it (11908)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by creeped_out_ - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

#17322871
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (14944)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)



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