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Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

#16903308
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38272) - you deserved it (11580)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:51pm - misc - by Fresca11 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102964) - you deserved it (13931)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you deserved it (103178)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (6034)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53086) - you deserved it (10116)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46567) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my anal virginity because my boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50291) - you deserved it (20663)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46722) - you deserved it (28212)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (50935)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML

#3180871
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74706) - you deserved it (11167)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by creeped_out_ - United States (Kansas)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39112) - you deserved it (8273)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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