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Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110908) - you deserved it (15442)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (216297)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (415027) - you deserved it (67219)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25276) - you deserved it (55166)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30001) - you deserved it (52053)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

#2344396
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16619) - you deserved it (109504)

On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML

#3180871
443 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78073) - you deserved it (11864)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by creeped_out_ - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (5628)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

#18202130
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45680) - you deserved it (6597)

On 11/09/2011 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13297) - you deserved it (52225)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

#17322871
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (14911)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)



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