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Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (2386)
On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22957) - you deserved it (2562)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (4172)
On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (2127)
On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (2460)
On 05/12/2011 at 9:09pm - love - by Whosthegroom (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, in a training class, I got to see a picture of what can happen when a man does not wear a safety harness correctly. For those of you who are unaware, male body parts are easily severed by loose straps. I cannot un-see that picture. It wasn't even a harness safety class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13421) - you deserved it (1380)
On 05/16/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by recmonty - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (5738)
On 08/26/2011 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (8574)
On 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm - misc - by krystal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (6361)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (4008)
On 05/13/2011 at 8:27am - work - by Smile No More -
Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (3027)
On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (1538)
On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (2420)
On 04/06/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by HM (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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