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Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8640) - you deserved it (112794)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31688) - you deserved it (28386)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
466 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87290) - you deserved it (5630)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (15892)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53422) - you deserved it (16745)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (3833)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55069) - you deserved it (10528)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

#15515343
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15493) - you deserved it (51290)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58105) - you deserved it (5818)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107953) - you deserved it (7604)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9425) - you deserved it (114613)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (8753)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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