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Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28492) - you deserved it (64805)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116882) - you deserved it (21594)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8627) - you deserved it (112667)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (140605)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18820) - you deserved it (15883)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53380) - you deserved it (16738)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (3831)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

#15515343
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15489) - you deserved it (51251)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57586) - you deserved it (5764)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
453 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54999) - you deserved it (10521)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107784) - you deserved it (7602)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved



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