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Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71788) - you deserved it (9848)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65394) - you deserved it (12788)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121745) - you deserved it (22689)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51897) - you deserved it (65327)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8685) - you deserved it (113455)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14284) - you deserved it (84450)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41298) - you deserved it (5976)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (219908)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29346) - you deserved it (66631)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (59765)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (425886) - you deserved it (67673)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (4063)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon



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