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Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (24121)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (223202)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (28175)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26171) - you deserved it (88589)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (5988)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (301538)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119
478 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16025) - you deserved it (42638)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13939) - you deserved it (57094)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (83281)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (620584) - you deserved it (38256)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (147904)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (12385)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71796) - you deserved it (9849)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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