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Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (4523)
On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46116) - you deserved it (14697)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49668) - you deserved it (5247)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (43646)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58000) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48861) - you deserved it (4292)
On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (2859)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (76690)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12959) - you deserved it (39756)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13496) - you deserved it (163891)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32270) - you deserved it (74221)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46888) - you deserved it (58418)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (4574)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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