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Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (481761) - you deserved it (24452)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (24264)
On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (11810)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I had sex for the first time with the guy I've been seeing about a month. When we finished, all he wanted to do was kiss and cuddle, and all I could think about was how soon he would leave so I could cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57614) - you deserved it (21001)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:38am - intimacy - by ouch (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11380) - you deserved it (64583)
On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61536) - you deserved it (3609)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177953) - you deserved it (25399)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9996) - you deserved it (88075)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10894) - you deserved it (41740)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (2202)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33767) - you deserved it (109276)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (82527)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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