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Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
466 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87039) - you deserved it (5618)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45653) - you deserved it (8071)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (3176) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (14459)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73550) - you deserved it (7674)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (473079) - you deserved it (45768)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (23139)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15186) - you deserved it (41267)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (28025)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (5964)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20870) - you deserved it (219493)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (589691) - you deserved it (37933)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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