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Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49767) - you deserved it (8529)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (316026)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (93660)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (25319)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (238922)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37006) - you deserved it (15446)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30699) - you deserved it (30791)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML

#16755181
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44013) - you deserved it (6457)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34896) - you deserved it (13606)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68930) - you deserved it (13516)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (154574)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59474) - you deserved it (11449)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (61433)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom



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