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Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
745 comments

I agree, your life sucks (776558) - you deserved it (82770)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (299894)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34151) - you deserved it (254754)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
733 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49579) - you deserved it (7073)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18641) - you deserved it (94898)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
780 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66773) - you deserved it (14048)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
730 comments

I agree, your life sucks (273160) - you deserved it (145043)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70585) - you deserved it (15315)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (49178)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States



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