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Sunday 30 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

#21460430
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18554) - you deserved it (7819)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

#21460529
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (6055)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

#21460116
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22312) - you deserved it (1325)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

#21461377
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17880) - you deserved it (1154)

On 08/27/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by PositiveElectron - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (976)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

#21461220
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (1490)

On 08/27/2015 at 2:46am - misc - by philip708 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5566) - you deserved it (711)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10637) - you deserved it (654)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

#21462126
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11326) - you deserved it (945)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:13pm - work - by thegrandchawhee - United States (Washington)

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21462173
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12467) - you deserved it (1153)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

#21462123
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (802)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

#21462394
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10478) - you deserved it (810)

On 08/30/2015 at 12:49am - misc - by Failed Artist - United States (Iowa)

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

#21461568
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (1888)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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