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Friday 29 July 2016

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Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine 3 weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealer ship to pick me up. She backed in to my car. FML

by Anyom / 07/26/2016 at 8:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

  Today, I was sitting outside while my dad was mowing the lawn. He ran over a hornet's nest with several now-angry hornets. He escaped unscathed. I didn't. FML

by Omega / 07/28/2016 at 8:26pm / Health

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

by Yocherrypicker / 07/28/2016 at 9:04pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fired from my job because my boss "doesn't think I'm happy there". FML

by someonesometime / 07/29/2016 at 12:14am / United States (Montana) / Work

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and promoting the entire police department to show up. FML

by mrsimintrouble / 07/29/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breath again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped up. which was "I'm sorry I don't know how to swallow." FML

by chickfilady / 07/28/2016 at 11:10pm / Work