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Sunday 26 April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26269) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (2012)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24149) - you deserved it (3385) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (1258)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (6520)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (3878)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11073) - you deserved it (1613)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28333) - you deserved it (1886)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (3042)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

#21399022
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (1118)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

#21397904
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25095) - you deserved it (2158)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:06am - work - by -_- (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

#21398951
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (1332)

On 04/24/2015 at 10:12am - love - by LolaBell (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2815)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)



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